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I started writing "Dreamers" in January 2014. It's the first serious writing I've done since college. I initially expected it to be a short story, but it kept growing and growing the more I wrote. After I had written just over 100 pages, I realized the format I was using didn't work for the story I wanted to tell, so I started over. I am now writing the story as diary entries from the main character. This is Laenia's first entry in my current draft.
Saturday, 13 January 1894
Sister Grace was most kind to give me this diary, but I do not think it will help to write in it. She has been nice to Ryn and me ever since she arrived. If Sister Mary Maxwell gave me this I would not trust her, but Sister Grace must truly believe a diary will help me. I’m going to try to write, for her sake.
I don’t know what to write though. She said to write about my good days. I don’t have good days. I’m happy sometimes when it’s just Ryn and me, or when I can be alone to read, but that doesn’t happen much. She said to write about bad days as well, but I don’t want to. I’d have to think about Lizzie calling me names, or Sister Mary Maxwell having me clean the floor after Alison pushed me carrying soup.
My dreams never make sense, except the nightmare of mum and dad. I hate that more than anything. Sister Grace says writing about it will help but how can she know? She only knew Samuel for a few months before she lost him. I lost mum and dad after eight years. She didn’t see Samuel die, I saw them burn alive. She doesn’t know how much it hurts to lose someone I loved so much.
This isn’t working. I feel even worse now. I’m sad about my parents. I’m even madder at Alison. I’m mad at myself for writing something bad about Sister Grace. Samuel’s death must have been terrible for her too. She loved him, right? She married him after all, even if it was just one day. Sister Grace wouldn’t marry someone without loving them.
I don’t think I’m going to write anymore.